Psst . . . Mattie here. I’ve been eavesdropping. (No—Really?) I thought I’d share with you a few, ahem, “observations” of well-meaning, non-writers, whose remarks I just happened to overhear while my creator, Mary A. Berger, was promoting her books.
People mean well, but . . . Okay, maybe you’ll understand better if I give you a few examples:
“Well, if you enjoy writing stories about a nosy amateur sleuth, that’s all that matters. I guess it does give you something to do.”
“How could someone like you write about those awful people? Ugh.”
“Why is this ‘Mattie’ woman always poking her nose in where it doesn’t belong? She should just sit back and let others run things.”
“Why not write ten books and have them all published at once? It can’t cost that much.”
“You should use a smaller print style.”
“You should use a larger print style.”
“You should use wingdings print style. That would add a comical touch for publishers to decipher, and they’d pick up on your sense of humor.”
“Where do you get your ideas for stories? From supermarket tabloids?”
And the most notorious remark of all:
“You actually sell these books?”
Mattie again (slumping). These are real comments I’ve heard while sitting in the back row at Mary’s book promos or hanging around her book shows. I might be back another day to share more gems with you.
Meanwhile, (whispering) someone discovered a body in Holy Redeemer’s baptizing tub. Think anyone would mind if I sneaked in and took a few notes? Oh wait. That’s the new story Mary’s working on. (Head slap). Of course I’ll be there! See you then.